dimanche, avril 17, 2005
almost a year and a half on and i'm revisiting this site feeling a surge of surreality. it's been so long: i remember getting cheekeong to design the blog (pink! must be pink!) for me, and forcing him to teach me all the html codes, and i remember the waves of euphoria i would feel each time someone linked me, and how i revelled in my cunning long name which everyone tried their best to remember.
a year and a half on i have changed so much. i shudder and cringe at the sight of how socialite-house i was, how self absorbed, and how exhibitionist. i've moved on, my life has changed quite a bit. i'm not happier, but i am richer, as any person who ages becomes richer. so many things have happened: death, joy, mental expansion, defloration, conscription, getting my heart broken, falling in love, reverse gender-confusion, bipolar-manic depression, results. two years in my memory feel as if they were four, like i really did live through (and remember) all of these things, even if at the time they felt like one year.
i used to hate rjc, and to a large extent still do. but now i want nothing more than to walk down the long route to the redhouse busstop to take 165 all the way back to hougang central, hopefully in the rain (oh the rain, the rain) and with lynette (remember talking at that bench for how long? four hours? because we refused to move?) in one arm, and holding an umbrella in the other.
a year and a half on i have changed so much. i shudder and cringe at the sight of how socialite-house i was, how self absorbed, and how exhibitionist. i've moved on, my life has changed quite a bit. i'm not happier, but i am richer, as any person who ages becomes richer. so many things have happened: death, joy, mental expansion, defloration, conscription, getting my heart broken, falling in love, reverse gender-confusion, bipolar-manic depression, results. two years in my memory feel as if they were four, like i really did live through (and remember) all of these things, even if at the time they felt like one year.
i used to hate rjc, and to a large extent still do. but now i want nothing more than to walk down the long route to the redhouse busstop to take 165 all the way back to hougang central, hopefully in the rain (oh the rain, the rain) and with lynette (remember talking at that bench for how long? four hours? because we refused to move?) in one arm, and holding an umbrella in the other.
mercredi, novembre 05, 2003
mardi, novembre 04, 2003
everyone, go to cheekeong's website now! it says he's the goddess of porn, and that's really funny. as in, really.
dimanche, novembre 02, 2003
vertical horizon's "Grey Sky Morning"
So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring
Nothing's quite the same now
I just say your name now
But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't want me back
You're just the best I ever had
So you stole my world
Now I'm just a phony
Remembering the girl
Leaves me down and lonely
Send it in a letter
Make yourself feel better
But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't need me back
You're just the best I ever had
And it may take some time to
Patch me up inside
But I can't take it so I
Run away and hide
And I may find in time that
You were always right
You're always right
So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring
What was it you wanted
Could it be I'm haunted
But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
I don't want you back
You're just the best I ever had
The best I ever had
The best I ever -
*
i first heard this song on perfect 10, when it was actually still good. and i don't know why but i had this terrible longing to hear this song today. so thanks cheekeong for obeying my whim. you're a real gem. :)
but now i feel freakin' depressed. just cos the song brings back so many shitty memories, and can be probably applied to anything that has happened to me in the last four years. i feel sad now. this is almost jazz like in its depression.
So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring
Nothing's quite the same now
I just say your name now
But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't want me back
You're just the best I ever had
So you stole my world
Now I'm just a phony
Remembering the girl
Leaves me down and lonely
Send it in a letter
Make yourself feel better
But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't need me back
You're just the best I ever had
And it may take some time to
Patch me up inside
But I can't take it so I
Run away and hide
And I may find in time that
You were always right
You're always right
So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring
What was it you wanted
Could it be I'm haunted
But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
I don't want you back
You're just the best I ever had
The best I ever had
The best I ever -
*
i first heard this song on perfect 10, when it was actually still good. and i don't know why but i had this terrible longing to hear this song today. so thanks cheekeong for obeying my whim. you're a real gem. :)
but now i feel freakin' depressed. just cos the song brings back so many shitty memories, and can be probably applied to anything that has happened to me in the last four years. i feel sad now. this is almost jazz like in its depression.
went for church today, again. and like, zonked out. was playing with the cute babies during the sermon. well. sigh. i don't know, just felt as if i wasn't really there? i tried i guess, but after a while i just sang songs, and was amused by the sound of the drums. since i don't really like them.
there was communion, and i was rather freaked. i'm always freaked whenever i'm there for communion. cos "he who eats and drinks eats and drinks judgement upon himself", and i'm like i hope i'm not drinking judgement upon myself so i ask real hard for forgiveness before that, and squeeze my eyes together real hard and try to search for something. but nothing appears and i assume i'm forgiven, so i just take it all the same. i hope, sincerely, that i don't go to hell.
some people go to church every sunday looking for a spiritual fix, sometimes they find it sometimes they don't. i've grown to recognise that this kinda christianity is not my kind, i can't do this without feeling like a freakin' hypocrite, and so i don't go to church looking for a fix. i go looking to get outta there as soon as possible, just to please my parents.
i so can wait for next sunday.
*
happy seventeenth, clara!
clara's party was tamer than might have been expected of her, but i had fun nonetheless. except that weiming came to late with his secret and delicious stash. i'm sorry if i was a bit woozy towards the end. but i was really tired. and, clara's sister freaked me out.
i do like jo and charm a lot though, haha. :)
*
i think i've rediscovered my love for french again. listening to mc solaar, kyo and mylene farmer. i just suddenly had this urge to call hongwan, joel, kaicheng and conrad up and tell them that i finally found out who mylene farmer is/was. remember mylene farmer? FARMER??? oh my god i swear we were rolling on the floor, just amused by that surname. i miss my old french class. i hate you all for dropping french.
j'ai peur. je pleure. aidez-moi.
je pleure. j'ai peur. regardez-moi.
just thought these lyrics were amusing. and relevant.
there was communion, and i was rather freaked. i'm always freaked whenever i'm there for communion. cos "he who eats and drinks eats and drinks judgement upon himself", and i'm like i hope i'm not drinking judgement upon myself so i ask real hard for forgiveness before that, and squeeze my eyes together real hard and try to search for something. but nothing appears and i assume i'm forgiven, so i just take it all the same. i hope, sincerely, that i don't go to hell.
some people go to church every sunday looking for a spiritual fix, sometimes they find it sometimes they don't. i've grown to recognise that this kinda christianity is not my kind, i can't do this without feeling like a freakin' hypocrite, and so i don't go to church looking for a fix. i go looking to get outta there as soon as possible, just to please my parents.
i so can wait for next sunday.
*
happy seventeenth, clara!
clara's party was tamer than might have been expected of her, but i had fun nonetheless. except that weiming came to late with his secret and delicious stash. i'm sorry if i was a bit woozy towards the end. but i was really tired. and, clara's sister freaked me out.
i do like jo and charm a lot though, haha. :)
*
i think i've rediscovered my love for french again. listening to mc solaar, kyo and mylene farmer. i just suddenly had this urge to call hongwan, joel, kaicheng and conrad up and tell them that i finally found out who mylene farmer is/was. remember mylene farmer? FARMER??? oh my god i swear we were rolling on the floor, just amused by that surname. i miss my old french class. i hate you all for dropping french.
j'ai peur. je pleure. aidez-moi.
je pleure. j'ai peur. regardez-moi.
just thought these lyrics were amusing. and relevant.
vendredi, octobre 31, 2003
today was a very good day. as in, very. first, i managed to download [successfully] the latest and absolutely hilarious episode of will and grace. then, i went out for the first time in a week+++, for french, where i promptly sat down and began my usual satire:
clar, when confused over reading the passage: "so... they're married when they sleep on a bed together?"
me, annoyed: "no, obviously when they have sex! when those people sang 'voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir' they weren't sending out invitations for a sleepover!!!"
and me, when mr dremaux asked us why a queue was called a queue: "that's not the only thing called a queue in french..."
*
went for dinner after that with shan and crystal, meeting lynette along the way, who promptly presented me with a wondrous box of cookies from the 1A girls! thanks lots, dear, i really appreciate it! i really do, as in really really.
that was the first human contact i've had in a week+++ so i was really happy. promptly sat down to gorge more ice cream with lynette, yakitori with shan and crys, and lemonade all by myself!
then crys and shan totally surprised with their cunning trick, and i feel stupid for not noticing it earlier: crys asked for veronika decide de mourir and i gave it to her, she promptly stuffed some bak kwa into my bag when i wasn't looking! that evil girl. when i found it i was so happy i nearly cried, a week+++ without solid food does these things to you, and i'm really really glad that i went for dinner with these evil girls. happy now. happy and full. and not full of porridge, i'm talking sweet, solid food!
clar, when confused over reading the passage: "so... they're married when they sleep on a bed together?"
me, annoyed: "no, obviously when they have sex! when those people sang 'voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir' they weren't sending out invitations for a sleepover!!!"
and me, when mr dremaux asked us why a queue was called a queue: "that's not the only thing called a queue in french..."
*
went for dinner after that with shan and crystal, meeting lynette along the way, who promptly presented me with a wondrous box of cookies from the 1A girls! thanks lots, dear, i really appreciate it! i really do, as in really really.
that was the first human contact i've had in a week+++ so i was really happy. promptly sat down to gorge more ice cream with lynette, yakitori with shan and crys, and lemonade all by myself!
then crys and shan totally surprised with their cunning trick, and i feel stupid for not noticing it earlier: crys asked for veronika decide de mourir and i gave it to her, she promptly stuffed some bak kwa into my bag when i wasn't looking! that evil girl. when i found it i was so happy i nearly cried, a week+++ without solid food does these things to you, and i'm really really glad that i went for dinner with these evil girls. happy now. happy and full. and not full of porridge, i'm talking sweet, solid food!
jeudi, octobre 30, 2003
ohh man, will and grace is hilarious!!!
in the latest episode jack participates in a gay spelling bee, "with gay contestants and gay words", it's so frickin funny, i swear!
"... O W J O B................ eyebrowjob!"
"... D I R R T Y.............. christina aguilera's dirrty!"
"... H I S......... mom i don't know how to tell you this!"
the judge: "the word is... GQ."
jack: "did you say GQ?"
the judge: "congratulations you're in the final."
jack, to karen: "i won! the other guy couldn't get erect. but i could!"
in the latest episode jack participates in a gay spelling bee, "with gay contestants and gay words", it's so frickin funny, i swear!
"... O W J O B................ eyebrowjob!"
"... D I R R T Y.............. christina aguilera's dirrty!"
"... H I S......... mom i don't know how to tell you this!"
the judge: "the word is... GQ."
jack: "did you say GQ?"
the judge: "congratulations you're in the final."
jack, to karen: "i won! the other guy couldn't get erect. but i could!"
